Truth is Out

Hey everyone!


Long time no post... I had so many things written ready to be posted but somehow ended up getting slightly sidetracked and not posting anything.

As some of you already know: I am pregnant. This is one of the biggest changes I’ve gone through in my whole life.

I will be trying to explain everything as best as I can. Where to start? Well, from the beginning...

I found out I was pregnant just a few days before my birthday. I had all the “symptoms” of my period coming but it seemed like it was late. I kept on getting the typical period pains, the uncomfortable feeling like someone is scratching my uterus from the inside... But no blood followed. I let it slide for a few days until I deemed it long enough to be worth doing a pregnancy test.

The first test came out as a faint positive. I was so confused, was it a positive? Am I seeing things? Is that line really there? Stressing out led to me asking Jack to check it as well. He tried to ease my mind with a “it’s probably nothing but do another test tomorrow”, so I went out and got one of those digital tests and surprise surprise it read Pregnant 2-3 weeks. We panicked for a few days before we let out the secret. We started telling his family, hoping someone would tell us what to do. What were we expected to do?

It came to the moment where everyone’s faces turned to me. What do you want? The question was there. It was all up to me to decide our future. I looked into all the different options. I asked Jack for his opinion as I never wanted him to be in a situation he didn’t want to be in, he was the most supportive partner I could have ever asked for. He all 100% with me, going to a clinic, coming out of it, telling our families... He followed me like a champion even when I was scared the most.

Near enough from the beginning I told him I wouldn’t be able to go through with an abortion. I would never judge anyone for going through one, but it’s just something I wouldn’t be able to go through myself.  I read every single thing available online about it, the clinic we went to gave me some more information... But in the end my mind was already made. I chose to keep the baby.

Fast forward to a few weeks later. We had our first midwife appointment. They gave us a rough estimate of a due date... End of June.  We waited until the 12 week scan to get another due date. June 26th.

The ultrasound scan was the moment me and Jack were left in awe. We knew it was happening. I could feel the changes near enough from the very beginning... Some things didn’t feel right like sleeping on my stomach felt awkward — I have been sleeping on my stomach pretty much all my life —, I still felt a bit of those “period pains”,  I felt extra tired all the time... We knew it was happening, but we weren’t ready to be sitting in that dark room and see the little baby on the screen.

People say that you can never understand the scans until it’s your child. I never really know what I am looking at when people show me a scan but there I was; getting emotional over a picture of the baby moving his arms about. I could see Jack getting emotional as well as he reached out and grabbed my hand. We were both so proud, scared and excited all at the same time.

From there on, we started to joke around trying to guess the gender. We still had to wait another 8 agonising weeks to find out what is the baby’s gender. We went for our 20 week scan on the 10th of February. Gill (Jack’s mum) came with us to the appointment and she got to sit with us in the room. We saw the baby move about — or refusing to do it when we needed them to. We asked the lady to write it down and put it in a brown envelope.

Gill had everything ready, a bag with ‘pink’ sweets and another with ‘blue’ sweets. We went into town and bought a piñata in the shape of a question mark and asked the lady in the shop to put the corresponding sweets inside it. We also got a balloon saying what it was. We waited around for a while and then drove back home. We had to wait until around 1pm to find out. It was the most nerve wrecking yet exciting time. We were all anxious to know, we had little stickers on our tops proclaiming us team boy or team girl. From day one I have been on team boy not because I really wanted a boy but because I genuinely thought it was a boy.

Guess who was right?

We tried to pull the strings attached to the bottom of the piñata but it didn’t work as we expected it. The top bit broke and the piñata fell down. Nothing came out from the inside. Instead that moment was filled with laughter and more anxiousness. We decided to hit it with a stick. I let Jack do it, he was having the time of his life hitting that piñata. At first nothing came out, we saw a few of the decorative things fall off — it was pink — we were waiting for more stuff to fall off from the inside before Jack stopped. We started to see things drop.

It was a boy! Jack started jumping around, excited, Brit came around to give us a hug as a part of team boy and we saw Gill and Kiera quickly try to pull themselves together after realising they were wrong. Both of them were convinced we were having a little girl. Now we could really celebrate knowing what we had. We were absolutely overjoyed to be right, even though we would have been just as happy if it was indeed a girl.

For a few weeks now I have been feeling our little boy move around inside, but yesterday (at 22w3d) Jack felt him for the first time too. He didn’t seem too excited afterwards but I did see the surprised look on his face when he felt the kick.

We are now waiting for our next midwife appointment which will only be at 25 weeks to see what is happening from here onwards. We were told we don’t have any more scans planned but the midwife could request them if she thinks we need it. While we know it’s a good sign that we don’t need any more scans we are still a bit anxious as we have such a long wait until the 26th of June.

More posts will come with little updates on how we are doing!

For now, this is all I have to share. Feel free to ask anything!