The Last Few Days

Hello everyone, I know I have left you high and dry here, waiting for a new blog post. But the wait is over, you can now read this blog post!

This post is so long overdue, I had so much free time and still didn't have enough time to post things online. However I kept on recording what I was doing and what I was feeling. 

It has been a rough couple of months: Covid-19 restricting what we can and can't do... Pregnancy making me need a wee every 5 minutes, not being able to walk very quick or very far...

Overall, it was such an interesting experience. Nothing felt the same as it once had. I struggled to walk around for more than a minute. If I was going for a walk, I felt as if Henry was starting to stick out of my vagina. It felt strange and a bit painful, but at the same time it made me tired and like I was struggling to move about.

Jack and I tried to stay active, walking around Tilgate at least once a week, but as I mentioned I struggled to do it. By the end of the pregnancy I was eating double of what I usually eat and it was starting to show. I was putting on weight and my trousers felt very tight on my thighs. I carried on with what I was doing, going onto appointments and trying my best to be healthy and keep little bubba safe inside of me.

We went on a walk to Seven Sisters on Tuesday, May 28. Jack sorted out the parking and paid for 3 hours, as soon as he was done we moved as fast as I was able to. We made our way around to the beachy area (although we had to stop a few times for me to catch my breath and be able to carry on walking). The two of us took some pictures, sat down for a few moments -- I had a pack of crisps -- and we noticed we just had a little bit over an hour to get back to where we had parked. When we finally got to the car, I was desperate for a wee and was starving as well. We decided to go to Subway on the way home as we couldn't wait until dinner time.

On the Saturday, May 30, I went for my 36 week appointment. There, I was told that my stomach was measuring a bit small so the midwife was a bit concerned. She told me that she would refer me to the sonographers so I could have another scan done and check that everything was alright with myself and the baby. Brit drove me back home and we had nearly the whole family round. That was also the day of my baby shower, we played some games and just about had a good time. It was quite nice and even though we couldn't have my friends and family around it was quite an interesting experience.

I received a phone call on Monday morning, 1st of June, and was told I could go to the the hospital to have my scan done. So off we went to the hospital. At the scan, the sonographer was a bit concerned with the baby's measurements. She told me that she wanted me to go to ESH so that one of the doctors could have a look at her notes and see what would be best to do:
-- Keep an eye on the baby?
-- Go for another scan in a week's time?
-- Keep an eye on my blood pressure?

Turned out that the doctors would rather keep me in and induce me the next day, rather than keep the baby inside for a little bit longer. The chord wasn't working as it should so Henry wasn't growing properly. Even though I was eating more than enough for the two of us, he still wasn't getting enough to grow. 

Tuesday morning, I was moved to the labour ward, where I was met by Jack. Together we started the induction process. Our two midwives were lovely. They helped me stay calm and reassured me that everything would be fine. They kept an eye on me and Henry and made sure that he was still stable and not too stressed. It was a long process. I had no idea what to expect of the whole labour situation, so I just took it as it went. 

First:

We started by checking my cervix, it was so painful to have it checked. The midwife had to put her fingers inside my vagina to check how far my cervix was from being ready. This was my first experience with Gas and Air. I absolutely hated it. I felt drowsy, I felt like I had had too much to drink and nothing to eat beforehand. I felt like I was high.

They put in a pessary and we waited for everything to be stabilised before they allowed me to go out for a walk with Jack. 

Second:

We walked back to the labour room and I was checked again to see how I had progressed. I was getting some bad pains on my back, but nothing on my stomach. My uterus felt the same as before, I took some painkillers before I was checked again. It was then that I took Gas and Air for the second time. Once again I hated the the whole situation. I  was in so much pain and discomfort that I had tears coming down my face. The doctor decided to take the pessary out as it wasn't working as it should. I tried to stay calm but the whole thing was so painful.

I remember that I was crying so hard, the whole thing felt absolutely awful. The pain from the pessary coming off and the doctor having his hand right up inside me created this agonising pain. I was shivering and I had a temperature because of it. I was crying so much due to this, I remember the doctor coming up to me and telling what he thought would be the best way to proceed. I was told it was best to have a cesarean section. I remember being told all this information about what the risks were, what could go wrong, what would have to happen afterwards... And I couldn't process it all as I should have. I remember the doctor giving me a paper to read all the information they were telling me, and I just told him that I believed him. I had to sign a paper before we were able to proceed. 

I felt my whole body in shock from the pain. I still had a temperature and I felt absolutely awful.

Third:

By this point, we were taken to the theatre. The midwives had changed shifts and I was now with someone new. There, we went on to have the spinal injection done. I felt the pain from it quite badly. I still had trails from where the tears had fallen earlier, but they just rushed down my face once again. I tried to be strong, I tried not to cry but it was the hardest thing I had ever done. Jack tried to reassure me as much as he could, but there was only so much he could have done.

When we first started the surgery, Jack and I were nervously talking. We had my birthing playlist on and we were trying to decide what song we should play for Henry's actual birth.

One of the people in the room - at that point I honestly couldn't remember who was who - told us that Henry would be coming out in a minute, so we could pick the song we wanted him to come out to. Earlier my friend gave me the suggestion (after I showed them my playlist) to put Toxic on. And so we decided to oblige to their request. Henry came out to the chorus of Toxic by Britney Spears.

We anxiously waited for him to cry, but we heard nothing. We were starting to worry when I asked  someone if he was okay. Upon a "Yeah, the baby is out." I asked them to check if it was a boy for sure, and after having a quick look they came back and reassured that yes it was a boy.

This whole experience was in the middle of the Corona Virus takeover. Jack was only able to stay with me for a few hours after the birth.  We waited for a paediatrician to come and check Henry's breathing as he was really struggling to breathe.

And that's where I will stop for now.

This is how the last few days before Henry came out were. They were fun, filled with adventure and worries. But at the same time, they were filled with love and anxiousness for Henry to be out and about.

We love you, Henry.